


Talk About Spaceships

by oxymoronassoc



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 09:27:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11159037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oxymoronassoc/pseuds/oxymoronassoc
Summary: Kara and Lee each dream a what-if on the anniversary of Zak's death.Originally written 3-18-2006





	Talk About Spaceships

On the anniversary of Zak's death, Kara dreams.   
_  
They're laughing together over some joke she can't remember as they enter the restaurant and the maitre d' stares at them, asking if they have a reservation. Zak sobers and Kara has to look away from him, one hand on her mouth as she smirks at the wall, the other unlacing from his hand to smooth the skirts of her blue dress. He flashes his most charming grin and points to his name on the reservations._

_"William Adama?" the matire d' asks in a stiff accent, eyeing Zak, who can't stop grinning._

_"That's right," he murmurs and Kara is off laughing again._

_"That was naughty," she whispers to him as they're escorted to their table._

_"You'll have to punish me later then, sir."_

_She grins at him as the server pulls the chair out for her and she sits. "Oh, don't worry, I will." She picks up the menu, still smiling._

_The servers take their drink orders in a blur of words that Kara doesn't hear; she picks something off the menu without seeing what it is, sips the alcohol from her glass without tasting it. All she has eyes for is him. He's talking about some hyjinx the trainees are up to and Kara nods and laughs and admonishes and advises when is needed, but she isn't really listening, busy just watching him._

_She doesn't remember what the food tastes like or what she eats, but Zak has a fancy cut of aged steak. His hands are sure as he cuts it precisely; Caroline would have been proud. Kara has never had the patience for such things. He offers her a taste, feeding it to her when she accepts and they giggle, oblivious to everyone but themselves._

_"Kara," he says as they sit waiting for their dessert to come._

_"Zakky?" she asks, smiling at him over her glass, tipping the last of the rich wine down her throat. There's a sudden tightening in her stomach, but the reason for it is just beyond her._

_"I…I have something to ask you."_

_He fumbles in his pocket and Kara suddenly knows what he's going to ask. A Viper explodes before her eyes and she can hear herself whimpering, trying not to scream because she's his commanding officer and she has to hold it together. She crushes the material of her skirt in her fist, nails digging into her palm. This time, he will live._

_"Now isn't a good time," she tells him, tone clipped._

_"What?" he asks, looking confused, his hand halting halfway up to the table._

_"You heard me." She meets his eyes and doesn't blink. He looks away as their dessert is set down before them. They eat in silence. Kara doesn't remember what she eats; it tastes like chalk and cardboard and death._

_The drive back is silent too. He follows her to her quarters, presses a kiss against her mouth, presses her against the door. She can't say no and fumbles the door open and they stumble in the dark toward the bed. Kara switches on her desk lamp and strips him down in the dim light, eating up the sight of him with her eyes. She's missed him for three long years. They make love and it's slow and sweet and Kara watches him as she rides his body. Everything blurs in a rush of pleasure and love._

_The light is too bright when she awakens and she squints. Her head feels heavy and she rubs her eyes. A Viper explodes against the back of them and she inhales sharply, turning to stare at Zak, asleep beside her. Her breath rattles in her chest as she dresses._

_"Wake up," she commands, throwing his pants at him. Her dress, the material crumpled from a night spent in a wrinkled heap, has already been stashed away at the back of a shoebox of old things. She doesn't ever want to see it again, but as she shakes his shoulder she sees herself and she's wearing it and smiling at Lee and then Lee is punching her on a hanger deck and the sick feeling in her stomach only worsens; what a disaster she's made._

_"Good morning to you too," he mumbles, sitting up and blinking at her._

_"Get out, Zak." She presses her lips together, staring at him as he frowns._

_"Why, what time is it?"_

_"It's over. Get out." She points at the door._

_"What are you talking about?" He gets out of bed and dresses himself in the crumpled garments of the night before._

_"Us, Zak, us. We're over. This was a bad idea from the start."_

_"Did you go through my pockets?" he demands, feeling for his left pocket._

_She shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. It's done. I don't want to see you again."_

_"Kara…" He stares at her and it's all she can do to not scream at him, to not tell him he's a frakking terrible pilot, has no feel for it, that his pride is going to get him killed and it's going to break her heart._

_"Get out!"_

_He stuffs his hands into his pockets, staring at her sullenly. "We'll talk about this later." The door slams loudly behind him._

_Kara takes a hot shower, sobbing as she scrubs herself until her skin is pink. When the water grows tepid, she steps out of the shower, wiping her eyes off last as she dries herself quickly with the rough towel._

_She has to do it now, before she loses her nerve. Her boots sound too loud as she makes her way to the office, the paper of the form rustles and it sets her jaw clenching. The pen makes a rip from pressing too hard into the first form and she has to start again. The major in charge doesn't look up as she places the form on his desk, signing it with a flourish, reassigning Zak Adama to another training instructor._

_At first Zak thinks this is her way around fraternization rules, but then he fails basic flight and accuses her of having babied him. She doesn't deny it, staring at him silently as he goes off on his new instructor._

_After a minute, she cuts off his tirade. "I told him to fail you."_

_Zak stares at her openmouthed. "I can't frakking believe you. What is wrong with you lately?"_

_She shrugs, turning back to her paperwork._

_"Don't shut me out! What the hell is going on?"_

_He isn't getting the point. "You suck, okay? You have no feel for it. That's that,_ Zakky _."_

_"Are you trying to hurt me?" He's giving her the puppydog eyes but Kara won't back down._

_She moves to twist the ring around her thumb reflexively, but it isn't there. Kara stares up at his handsome face as he spears his fingers through his hair in frustration. He's clenching his jaw and Kara is suddenly reminded of his brother. She looks away at the faded picture of her childhood dog thumbtacked to the corkboard, almost hidden beneath take-out menus and flyers. "I will never let you fly a Viper."_

_His concerned expression twists into a dark glare. "How am I going to live this down? Do you know who my brother and father are?" He throws his hands up. "Of course you do. How could you do this to me? How? Are you enjoying ruining my life? I thought you frakking loved me. I guess I was wrong."_

_"I do love you," she whispers as he stalks out, slamming the door once again. "I want you to live."_

_She stops taking his calls, avoids her quarters, and eventually takes the first reassignment she can get: a placement on the flagship Pegasus. Kara doesn't care about the prestige of the ship so long as she can escape Zak Adama and let him live. He might hate her, she might have broken his heart and her own, but he will live._

_But at the end of the world he dies anyway, drinking tea with his mother on Caprica, and she lives._

* * *

On the anniversary of Zak's death, Lee dreams.   
_  
He's walking into a club and he's thinking of Zak for the first time in months, maybe years. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer, nursing it as he thinks of his brother. Zak who wants to be a pilot so bad it hurts; Lee doesn't think it will end well._

_A blonde girl slides between him and the stool next to him, her back to him. He glances at her long ponytail; he's always had a weakness for petite blondes. She orders a sugary tropical drink and there's something familiar about her. She turns, looking him up and down with mischievous hazel eyes._

_"I like the umbrella," she tells him._

_Lee can only stare. "Kara?"_

_She looks taken aback, tapping her short fingernails on the bar top. "Who's asking?"_

_"I…" He frowns. "I'm Lee Adama. We had a class together, at the academy."_

_Her face breaks into a familiar grin as she boosts herself up onto the stool opposite. "Oh yeah…I think I remember you. Some history class right?"_

_He nods his agreement; they were never at academy together. He'd never laid eyes on Kara Thrace until the night he'd come home for Sunday dinner and Zak had brought along his new girlfriend. Lee had been instantly attracted and instantly jealous._

_"Never was much for history." She flicks her ponytail back over her shoulder and Lee continues to stare. She grins, picking up her drink from the bar and taking a coy sip from the straw. "I just live for right now."_

_He has a feeling he's heard that before and it hadn't ended well._

_"So, Lee, what do you do?"_

_"I'm a captain on the Atlantia."_

_Her hot pink lipsticked mouth makes an impressed ‘O'. "Impressive."_

_"Thank you. Yourself?"_

_"Lowly lieutenant." She sucks up a long swallow from her drink before playing with the straw for a moment. "I'm getting posted to Viper flight instruction next week."_

_He has a sudden feeling in his stomach, an ominous dip that culminates with him seeing her standing beside his father in military dress. He's staring at her across a casket and there's a portrait of Zak resting with the flowers. He blinks and now he can feel the way her mouth tastes, hot against his as their bodies slam into a Battlestar issue bunk, nails scrambling desperately over skin._

_"Buy you another drink?" Lee asks._

_"Yes, please!"_

_They go back to her place; Lee drives as Kara laughs drunkenly, going through the CDs stashed in the glovebox of his sports car. She mocks his taste in music and their eyes meet and Lee knows this electric feeling, as familiar as his face in the mirror each morning. His car drifts lanes and they almost sideswipe a semi. Kara just cackles._

_Kara's apartment is a mess of half-eaten cartons of take-out noodles and paint splatters. She waltzes through it, pulling her hair from the band as she goes. Lee picks his way through the junk more carefully in the moonlight that streams in from the second floor window._

_"Sorry about the lights," she says from the shadows. He jumps slightly and she giggles, wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss him sloppily. Her mouth tastes of sugar and pineapple and Kara. He's been starving for the latter; day after day, look after look, touch after touch he starves for the taste of Kara._

_They stumble into the bedroom, hands under clothes, mouths wagging war, each trying to be the victor. Lee presses her up against the wall by the door, holds her hands pined above her head and pauses, staring down at her, to make sure this is real. She licks her lips, staring back._

_"Lee?" she says, his name a question, and he silences her with his mouth._

_Clothes are lost in a flurry of movements, nails scrapping over skin. Kara feels as soft as he remembers. His hands slide down into her panties and she squeals, and he wonders if she'll think it was just luck he knows she likes that. Her hands fumble over him, less sure, less knowing, but just as torturous._

_Kara pushes him back onto the bed, straddling him. Her pale skin is tinged blue in the moonlight and she stares down at him for a moment before she slides down onto him and begins to move._

_Her hair is down around her shoulders, shorter layers falling forward in her eyes and he sees her suddenly with this long hair in a commander's office on a Battlestar, telling him she's leaving the fleet and marrying Sam. Lee grabs her hips hard enough to bruise and rolls them over. She doesn't protest._

_They frack quick and rough and Kara says his name when she comes._

_The second time they frack that night, it's slow and sweet. Lee goes down on her, holding her hips steady with strong hands, and the sound of her whimpering is the sweetest sound he's heard in a long time. She's on top again, moving her hips in deep, slow movements, and Lee thinks he could die happily. Their eyes meet and lock and he says her name when he comes._

_He wakes early, the sunlight pouring into the room through the uncovered window. He sees the blind laying in a crumpled heap on the floor by the bed and mentally shakes his head; that's Kara. As warm as her embrace is in sleep, he knows she'll want him gone as soon as she wakes up. Kara Thrace in the morning is no treat. He dresses quietly and pauses by the bed, watching her sleep. Impulsively he kisses her forehead and leaves without looking back._

_His leave days are a blur. He picks up the phone one day, invites Kara to lunch, no pressure. He knows about Kara and commitment. They meet at a corner café. Her top is too tight and she lets him pay._

_"Your brother's one of my trainees," she says a few days later when they meet for coffee._

_Lee sees the casket again and the coffee goes down his throat in a hard lump. "Yeah?"_

_"He's adorable. Thinks he can get away with anything as long as he smiles."_

_There's a burning in Lee's stomach but he doesn't say anything, just nods._

_"I'm going to fail him," she says with a sigh, picking a raisin out of her scone and flicking it at him. "It's gonna devastate him but he has no feel." She stares at him and he reads her face like a much-loved novel._

_He exhales, the feeling in his stomach receding. "He wants it too much," Lee finally says._

_"He loves you and your father."_

_"I know. I know." Lee swirls the coffee in his mug, staring into the depths for the secrets to the universe._

_Kara kisses him goodbye outside the coffee shop and she tastes like hope._


End file.
